We naturally find the most energy-efficient way of doing anything. Our brains represent 2% of our body weight but use 20% of our energy.
Cognitive miser theory says that the brain sees mental effort as a scarce resource and spends as little of it as possible. Rather than analysing each situation from scratch, we use shortcuts - assumptions, stereotypes, familiar patterns - because thinking uses a lot of energy and the brain conserves it. The idea was introduced by Susan Fiske and Shelley Taylor in 1984, and it built directly on Tversky and Kahneman’s earlier work showing that people rely on heuristics rather than careful reasoning when forming judgments. The result is a mind that is efficient most of the time but fails in predictable, well-documented ways.
This is the primary reason why we aren’t as individuals very good at solving complex problems; we, however, think we are. It’s subconscious. If you know it’s happening, you can overcome it.
It also explains why we stick to what we believe and understand. It’s much easier and energy-efficient not to listen to others’ views. Much of our behaviour is because our brains are trying to save energy. We love talking to people who share our views, for this rather base reason. Yes, it re-enforces our beliefs and makes us feel understood, but at a foundational layer it’s about saving energy. It’s kind of sad to understand this but it explains so much.
The sad truth is when disagreements occur, people either stay quiet or just talk at each other. Neither one is listening, neither one is understanding the other’s viewpoint.
You will feel you are not being listened to but are listening to the others’ view. You aren’t listening and neither are they; both of you are unaware of it.
Learning to listen and understand like never before can open you to a world previously closed off. Not only are you able to get the best out of yourself, you can also get the best out of everyone around you.
