Active Listening

The inspiration behind EVT is a combination of what it isn’t and what it is. Existing training, in my view, is deeply flawed. It produces a sophisticated but shallow veneer rather than solving the underlying problems.

The first thing it isn’t is active listening.

Active listening is about the speaker feeling they are being listened to. EVT is about actually listening and understanding. The first is performative and skin deep, the latter is transformative.

Coined by Rogers and Farson in 1957, it’s a set of behaviours the listener performs:

• Paraphrasing the speaker’s words back to them.

• Reflecting feelings.

• Asking open questions.

• Summarising to indicate you understand.

It's all aimed at the listener and is surface deep, which is precisely what the evidence finds it changes: the surface. Paraphrasing makes the listener seem more likeable without making the speaker feel any better understood.[9]

The technique provably demonstrates the speaker feels heard[10] - but a feeling is a state, not evidence the listener actually understood.

Being understood is the only thing that has value; feeling understood is ultimately meaningless, even if it makes us feel better in the moment.

EVT does not teach people to look like they are listening; it explains why they didn't listen and comprehend in the first place, so they can fix it.

[9] Weger, H., Castle, G. R., & Emmett, M. C. (2010). Active listening in peer interviews: The influence of message paraphrasing on perceptions of listening skill. International Journal of Listening, 24(1), 34-49.

[10] Weger, H., Bell, G. C., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The relative effectiveness of active listening in initial interactions. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 13-31.